I am the news

I am the news. pic for poem

 

I am a sculpture

waiting upon reason, mercy and miracles

to mould me and make sense of each

passing moment that renders me as small

 

I am an echo

of nothing more than memories that slink

in the undergrowth of  my own propaganda

and threaten my neck with a sensual constriction

 

As spirits go

I am evaporating on the back of so many

disappointments

that a ghost would wail at the iniquity

of living in this entanglement

 

but I am immune

as a rogue infection to clinical intervention –

a bacteria so fit that healthy cells

emigrate to other hosts and leave me isolated

in my own member state

 

I am dilute

as my age dictates

that blood relatives die around me

and I take the calls of surviving kin

and enter in to their ‘arrangements’

 

I am the understudy

for my impending future, the heir apparent

to a ‘long wait’ that others may remark

was lived in haste and might in time improve

Inheritance

Inheritance. pic for poem

 

and so they throw stones

the disadvantaged ones

with one less letter to atone for loss

venting with spleen, milk-shakes and votes

or worse in some cases – battery acid

as the temperature rises in this moment of  time

we are it seems ” gathered here today”

though not harmoniously, not like a congregation

we are disparate and seeking

vocal yet inchoate

the fault lines more evident as time presses

the beauty pageant for votes more desperate

we who pride ourselves on democracy, we sophisticates

as if we were

solid citizens with a mature sense of history

yet we equivocate and murmur, disseminate untruths

pitching for a purpose on the greasy pole and forget

so much of this has gone before and always

in the aftermath – mistakes will glow

are we bigots, ingrates or xenophobes

on this small island so tightly packed?

one and all will  be stained by this moment in time

but those that seek power will be remembered

as trace elements of the fire – furore – uroar

and be gone

Pearls

Pearls . pic for poem

 

I want to speak of miracles

enunciate my awe  at modern things

and give thanks on this bright day

that I am present  to behold

the gifts that shower me

day in day out  but

not seem fey, too abstractly thoughtful  or naive

it’s just that looking out of the bedroom window

I see our neighbour basking in the sun

a misshapen homage to beauty  with his beer gut

his paean to gods and mercies

quite evident in the pose

the shrubs, the seedlings and all that nascent growth

almost showing beneath his feet, his hopeful yards long stare

and I am struck by how much we have in common

and not

how we differ, on the edges, in the beds

in matters of colour or politics, his children at private schools

with hopes for higher things

but we are just morsels – innocents in the food-chain

as that Thrush on the lawn teases out a long fat worm

and a Robin inflates his or her breast in warning

the birdsong reverberates with sweet nostalgia

I must soldier on  just one day farther

in the rain

Simmering

Simmering

 

a white rag rides on the wind

flip flopping on the urgent breath

that rasps against roofs and eaves

as it complains against closed spaces

 

beneath all this I sit and stew

a quiet thing, compressed

alone in the vessel of my separateness

acquiring a taste for solitude

 

and gaze with growing detachment

at the scrap of white as it waves

with a careless detachment outside

receding into an unknowable distance

Anony – Mouse ( party animal )

Light and shape

 

lost on the fringes of a tumult

the hot air rising as a shroud

above contagion

this party is a swarm that I apparently

am-a-part-of

though that ( my imaginary friend )

is problematic because

though I am invisible my head is telling me quite the reverse

that I throb amongst them  –  a lighthouse

intermittently spraying light upon their gathering

inviting comments yet somehow repelling them too

I am anti-matter

words drown in me as I suck at pleasantries

my teeth elide with one another in a rictus, not a smile

engaging with yet another co-reveller

who senses in me the genus of a germ

airborne, not entirely dangerous

but worth, well

worth avoiding

and this my ( imaginary ) friend

is just the start

even before intoxication alters the scales

and my paranoia settles in, warming to the task

of further reducing me – as a chef would a sauce

to the point where I am piquant

an offering so humbled I would prefer

to be quite simply elemental

and rest in a heavenly quiet

that becomes a prophecy

and then like air

be gone

Longing

Chess Mates. I have this sense of impending doom.

 

day by day

the long column

of little steps

ascends, as if

 

no greater power could command

nor small urge arrest

the strident pattern

of controlled desire

 

while sleep conceals

the gnawing pang

daylight reveals the currents

that play with a pain

 

no two thoughts can unwind

without a third that questions

sweet reason

with a sneer

 

and so we live in danger

here and now

and cite past treason

to re-affirm weakness, as if

 

derision was the message

on a welcome mat

as we attempt

to douse the fire

 

and put quiet to bed

the questions

that linger in the threads

and fabric of scented pillows

 

 

so,  sleep well with demons

children please

your softly moulded bodies lay limp

without due diligence

 

as those dreams fade

mutate

and pass into a troubled, yet

forgotten history

I sometimes grieve

Dolls on offer

 

I sometimes grieve

for my place sewn into history

sensing the loss

the uselessness of my contribution

so far

how my past is a honeycomb of spaces

and yawning faces

the time left behind fallow

as in a forgotten field

bordered by vigorous weeds

their colours livid and clinging to

footpaths and bridleways whose intimations go unheeded

and now, NOW

the road is lost

though I know you share it with me

because the ache inside

can’t all be mine