When does joy begin?

when does joy begin. pic

 

in the holding back and not

trying to find nostalgia,

no false memories will serve,

for truth has splinters stuck fast

in the veneer that coats all our recollections

and fragments in the lode threaten to discharge

unreliable soldiers in some other version you once knew

so history in the human mind is geography

the topography in a spatial sense of where we have been

so easily confused in the transmission

of the personal, the private, the hidden and unexplained

and all of those constituents that form

our wonky DNA

A bright morning, fresh start, ensconced in glass

my vision, my blood and the fading of history to a tepid mush

raise questions of

where joy has been

and did it ever come

because I can’t remake a wish

nor go to visit vanishment

but would it be far- fetched to hope, to be in place

if ever joy were to commence.